Flat Bread

"It doesn't really taste like anything, but it's so addicting."  That's not exactly high praise, but every year the Hoey family eats this stuff as if 2011 would have been the last year for the holidays.  Those darn Mayans.

Flat bread is a Christmas tradition for my mother-in-law.  With every daughter and granddaughter, baking this crispy cracker/cookie/thingy has become an integral part of the December hoopla.  But not for me.  I've resisted taking part in this tradition for 18 years.  "This isn't really how my mom makes it" is not something I have ever wanted to hear. 

But then.

My husband bought me this for Christmas.  It was a not-so-subtle hint.

 And as if that wasn't direct enough, he also brought me home this:

So I relented.  His request came with a kitchen gadget, and I purely love kitchen gadgets.  And it gave me another reason to use my new Cuisinart food processor.  As if I needed any reason at all.

The directions on the recipe were vague, which is likely because this recipe has been handed down and definitely comes from the school of 'a little of this and until it looks right.'  I wasn't certain if I should cream the butter and sugar before adding anything else, or if I should treat it like a pie crust and cut in the butter with the dry ingredients.  Since I was using the Cuisinart and not the KitchenAid, I went with a modified pie crust approach.  When the ingredients were blended and I'd kneaded the last bit of flour into the dough, I tore off about a fist-sized hunk to roll out. 

 
The dough is super sticky, and I found sprinkling the dough periodically during the roll-out prevented it from getting stuck in all the tiny squares of the rolling pin.

The dough needs to be rolled really, really thin.  This can be a frustration, because as you peel it off the countertop it can tear.  Reference my previous posts on perfectionism....  (let it go Bec, let it go).

When the dough was seriously paper thin, I peeled it off the countertop, draping it over my arm to lay on the cookie sheet.  The directions my mother-in-law sent did not indicate whether the cookie sheet should be greased.  I tried it both ways, and it didn't make a difference as far as sticking to the pan, so I'd recommend not buttering the sheet.  You don't want the flat bread to taste fried at all.  Because there were times my dough tore, I found I could continue to roll it out once I had transferred it onto the cookie sheet to repair tears and get the dough as thin as possible.

The recipe indicated to cook the flat bread until it browned.  For me, that was about 11 minutes in a 350 degree oven.  I removed it when it looked like this:

Some Hoeys believe flat bread is best eaten as it is, just broken off into pieces.  I'd say it tastes like a very thin sugar cookie that isn't very sweet.  Other Hoeys butter their flat bread and sprinkle it with cinnamon and sugar, which obviously does up the sweetness factor.

I'm puzzled why flat bread is only made at Christmas time.  I could absolutely see it as a side to savory soup, particularly minestrone.  Rolled just a touch thicker, it would be a good base for a sandwich.  Really, I'm not sure what the big deal is about this stuff.  It doesn't have a distinctive flavor, and it isn't sweet like a cookie.  I've only had like six pieces in the last two minutes and it's nothing special.  The kids are pulling it off the cooling racks faster than I can put it on, so they might like it.  My husband said it isn't as thin as his mom's (sweet, right?) after coming back for fifths.  

I don't really get what the big deal is about flat bread.  

Hang on, I need another piece...

Flat Bread
From my mother-in-law, passed down through generations of German women.

2 cups buttermilk
1/2 cup butter
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup cornmeal
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
6 cups of flour, plus more for rolling (I used at least another cup)

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.  In a food processor or blender combine the butter, sugar, cornmeal, baking powder and salt.  Gradually add the milk and flour, adding some of each until you've used all the buttermilk and about 4 to 5 cups of the flour.  Scrape the dough onto a floured countertop, and knead in the rest of the flour.  The dough will be very sticky.  Tear off a piece of the dough, about the size of a large fist.  Roll out the piece of dough on a floured countertop, periodically sprinkling flour over the top of the dough to prevent sticking.  When the dough is paper thin, gently place it onto an ungreased cookie sheet.  Bake the flat bread for 10 to 12 minutes, until the dough has crisped and browned.  Remove the cookie sheet from the oven and allow the flat bread to cool for a few minutes, then place the flatbread on a cooling rack to cool completely.  Repeat with the remaining dough.  Serve plain, or with butter, cinnamon, sugar, frosting, jam, flavored cream cheese, meat, or whatever else makes you happy.  Strangely, enjoy!